Hotel Tipton the Musical
by RockDiva
Summary: What do you get when you cross a Candy Counter Girl and laughing gas...Song Numbers? Chain Gangs? Just plain silliness?


**_At the Dentist Office_**

**Maddie:** Are you sure you know what you're doing?

**Dentist:** There's no need to be nervous Maddie. It's just a routine procedure. I've pulled many wisdom teeth in my day. Now, would you prefer anesthetics or laughing gas?

**Maddie:** Anesthetics scare me so, laughing gas it is! Can I just ask another question? I really need the hours, so can I still work today?

**Dentist:** Well. It's not like I'm pulling out all of them at once. Since it's just the one, the pain shouldn't be too unbearable. But I really don't recommend it. The pain reliever mixed with the fading effects of the laughing gas tends to cause fatigue. Now let's get that tooth out to stay.

**Maddie:** _(entering the Tipton)_ I don't care what he says. I need the money. Besides, I feel just fine.

**At the Candy Counter**

**Zack **Hey, Maddie. How was your dentist appointment?

**Maddie:** I don't know. I don't really remember because I was under the effect of laughing gas the entire time.

**Cody:** Ooooh, so what you're saying is it was a gas.

**Maddie:** That was really bad, Cody.

**Zack:** Hey, hey, hey. Don't diss my brother's jokes. You mess with one Martin, you mess with 'em all.

**Maddie:**_ (slightly confused) _Sorry.

**Moseby:** Alright, every one, we have a very important guest arriving any moment so to your places. Maddie, I'll let you sit out this time since you had a tooth pulled, but just this time.

**Maddie:** Sit out on what?

_(Person enters the hotel and music begins)_

**Song-Welcome to the Tipton** _(style- like a Broadway musical number)_

_(slow)_ **All staff:** You've made it here to Boston. And you think it's swell.

And now you have decided to use our hotel.

Well, if you're searching for perfection, you won't have to look far.

Because our hotel has been rated a 4-Star…

_(Faster)_ **Moseby:** I'm the manager of the Tipton.

If you'll follow me then I'll check you in.

I am here at your service…

Room for one or for two?

Esteban will take your bags, he'll take the stairs and

He'll take them fast.

Here is your hotel room key,

Your suite is five twenty-two.

Be sure to check out the pool on the rooftop.

Our singer's a swinger she'll make…your mouth drop.

**All Staff:** Our room service is the best.

If you don't believe us putus to the test.

If you're up for relaxing then you're on your way.

Welcome to the Tipton; please enjoy your stay.

**Zack:** _(talk-singing_) oh no it's Ilsa!

**Ilsa:** _(to the guests)_ Too much Tipton will make you sick.

Come to St. Mark's and do it quick.

If you want true enjoyment,

Then don't stay where you are.

Across the street is where I suggest.

First night free for all new guests.

I'll even carry your luggage.

If you'll follow me to St. Mark's.

_(just music while we see Ilsa trying to persuade the guests to come with her. Also the staff is doing a big dance number in the lobby. Finally two guys grab Ilsa and carry her out.)_

**All Staff:** _(medium tempo)_ You have made the best choice,

This is the better place…

Welcome to the Tipton. Enjoy your _(held out)_ stay.

**Maddie:** So now we do a musical number for new guests? Must have missed the memo.

**Later**

**London:** Zackie-poo! Why'd you stand me up last night?

**Cody:** Yeah, Zack. Why did you stand London up?

**Zack:** Stay outta this, Cody. I can handle my woman without your help. (to London) Sorry, London. I had business.

**London:** That's always your excuse. Well, maybe I don't want to have any business with you anymore.

**Zack:** Don't say that. I'll make it up to you, I promise.

**London:** I'm tired of your promises. They're emptier than daddy's. (huffs and walks away)

**Cody:** You're gonna be in trouble with the boss.

**Zack:** Shut up, Cody. Just help me find Lance.

**Maddie:** Okay, something weird is going on here. (sees Moseby sneaking over to the ballroom, trying to make sure nobody sees him.) Speaking of weird. Maybe I should get a closer look. But then again that would be spying which in all fairness, is wrong. Should I? What am I saying, of course I should! (quickly sneaks into the vents and follows it to the ballroom. She sees Carey, Muriel, Arwin and Esteban. She sees Moseby come in)

**Carey:** Moseby, when are we gonna blow this lame scene?

**Moseby:**_ (gives Carey a dip kiss)_ Soon, baby, soon.

**Maddie:** What on earth? Moseby and Carey?

**Carey:** Good. I'm just itchin' for Vegas and that weddin' you been promisin' me.

**Moseby:** Babe, once we steal the Tipton money, we'll be able to afford Paris. We'll have it all.

**Muriel:** Well, hurry it up and steal it already.

**Esteban:** Yeah, why's it takin' so long?

**Moseby:** Relax. We're playin' it smooth remember. The last thing we need are some coppers investigatin' this joint. We got the perfect set-up, see. And we're gonna pull this thing off with nobody the wiser.

**Carey:** That's why I love ya, you master mind you.

**Maddie:** They're gonna steal London's money. I've gotta do something. But what? _(hears more music)_

_(Song-jazzy style)_

**Carey:** We'll get the riches; we'll get the jewels.

We'll be swimmin' in gold-filled pools.

As long as we just play it cool.

The whole world will be ours.

**Moseby:** We'll steal it once and get it right.

We'll do it at the crack of night.

And, baby, we'll be outta sight.

And the whole world will be ours.

**Carey:** We've done a lot a plannin' We've done a lot a schemin'

**Moseby:** And soon we'll all be landin' in the best of dreamin'

**Carey:** Soon we're leavin', darlin'.

**Moseby:** Can't ya see it comin'

**Esteban/Muriel/Arwin:** Soon will have the Tipton dough…

**Moseby/Carey:** And the the whole world will be ours.

_(Half –way through the song the music stops. Zack, Lance and Cody enter the ballroom)_

**Lance:** Yo, boss. Zack here messed everything up.

**Maddie:** _(gasps)_ Them too!

**Moseby:** What's he talkin' about?

**Zack:** It's nothin', boss. I broke a date with London last night, and she's sayin' it's over with.

**Carey:** I thought I taught you better than that, Zack. How could you mess up so bad?

**Moseby:** Zack, Zack, Zack. I take you in like you're my own son and this is how you repay me, by messin' up our chances to steal the dough? You know you're supposed to keep Ms. Tipton busy while we case the place.

**Zack:** Don't worry, boss. I got it under control. She says this all the time, but it only makes her love me more.

**Moseby:** Good. Now do whatever it takes to keep it that way. You break one more date with her and I'll have Lance break some bones.

**Carey:** _(sighing)_ Won't he make such a great father, boys.

**Zack:** Yeah, yeah. As long as I get the family business when he retires.

**Moseby:** You know that's the plan. Now go make a date with Tipton and don't blow it this time. Maybe if we roll the dice right, we can do this thing tonight. _(Zack leaves)_ Cody, follow your brother and make sure he does what I told him. _(Cody leaves)_

**Carey:** They won't mess things up, baby. I promise.

**Moseby:** No worries. Moseby don't go bumpin off kids and I wouldn't break no bones neither. Least not with those two; they got too much potential.

**Lance:** You really think we can pull this thing off tonight, boss?

**Moseby:** Just follow my lead and this chain gang will be outta here by midnight. And ya know what that means?

**All the others:** Yeah.

**Moseby:** Hit it, sweetie!

_(Song restarts-even jazzier)_

**Carey:** We've done a lot a plannin' We've done a lot a schemin'

**Moseby:** And soon we'll all be landin' in the best of dreamin'

**Carey**: Soon we're leavin', darlin'.

**Moseby:** Can't ya see it comin'

**Esteban/Muriel/Arwin:** Soon will have the Tipton dough…

**Moseby/Carey:** And the the whole world will be ours.

_(music ends as they all laugh fiendishly)_

**Maddie:**_ (crawling out of the vents)_ This isn't weird this is just wrong. Carey and Moseby, Zack and London, a chain gang? I need to get to the bottom of this and fast.

_(sees Zack walk by and follows him without his noticing)_

_(On the roof)_

**Zack:** London, would you just give me one minute?

**London:** Why should I. You never give me any time.

**Zack:** Don't be like that, baby. You're breakin' my heart.

**London:** Good. That's the way I want it. Broken into tiny pieces so I can throw 'em off the roof.

**Maddie:** _(hearing music)_ Ugh, another song?

_(Song starts-slow love song)_

**Zack:** I've seen Paris, I've seen Rome, but, baby, they were never home.

Nothin' filled my lonely heart til I found you.

Treat me cruel or treat me kind, whatever, darlin', I don't mind.

I have loved you from the start and I still do.

So I may have never been the best there is. So I ain't a charming prince.

All I wanna do is love ya. Baby, won't you give me one more chance?

**London:** I have it all, all there is.

But money can't buy happiness

There was a time I thought it could, til I found you.

Though there's times you've hurt me so,

I just can't ever let you go.

Life without you would be no good; I still love you too.

_(climax-music grows louder)_

**Together:** You are the treasure deep inside my heart.

You and I can ne-ver part.

_(music still playing softly in the background)_

**Zack:** You and me got a moonlight dinner waitin' somewhere later. (London and Zack leave the roof.)

_(Maddie is about to come out of hiding, but she sees Cody emerge from hiding first.)_

_(Music gets louder as Cody starts to sing)_

**Cody:** I've seen London, now I know.

She is where my heart belongs.

If only I could make her see, I'm the one who cares.

With eyes that shine and a smile that gleams,

She is the princess of my dreams.

If only she could ever be, the answer to my prayers.

_(music ends)_

**Maddie:** Cody, you're in love with London aren't you?

**Cody:** _(turning around startled)_ Maddie! What are you doin' spyin' on me?

**Maddie:** I wasn't spying on you. I was spying on your brother, Zack.

**Cody:** Don't even say that name. He's nothing but a two-timing jerk. He doesn't love London. All he wants to do is steal her money._ (gasps and covers his mouth)_

**Maddie:** Don't worry. I know all about it.

**Cody:** Moseby sent you didn't he. Now you're gonna go tell him and he's gonna knock me off.

**Maddie:** Relax. Moseby didn't send me. I overheard you guys talking in the ballroom. But now that I have an upper hand, I demand some answers. What's going on?

**Cody:** Alright, I'll talk. Moseby and the gang's plannin' to steal London's money tonight when Zack's got her out of the way. We've been plannin' this thing for the past six months. All we need is a clear break and we'll be out before the cops can even track us.

**Maddie:** But if you love London, why do you want to steal her money too.

**Cody:** Who ever said I did?

**Maddie:** Then how come you're mixed up in all this.

**Cody:** Have you seen my mom? She's crazy about Moseby and he's crazy about her. That's why.

**Maddie:** This is silly. Who cares about your mom or Mosebyor evenyour brother. Do what you know is right.

**Cody:** And take a one-way trip to the bottom of the ocean? Not this kid. I might not have London, but atleast I'll have my life.

**Maddie:** Maybe we can find a way to save London's fortune and get the others busted.

**Cody:** Ain't possible. He's got his spies everywhere. It would have to be an inside racket.

And there ain't no way I could pull it off.

**Maddie:** Then leave it up to me.

**Cody:** No, I can't let you do it, Maddie. It's too dangerous. One wrong move and we'll both be wearin' cement shoes.

**Maddie:** I don't care. I have a plan and I'm gonna do it.

**Later**

**Lance:** Hey, boss. Maddie here says she heard about our plan and she wants to join.

**Moseby:** How'd you hear about it?

**Maddie:** Oh, I have my own sources. Now can I join or not. I'm sick of London and I want to help see her downfall.

**Muriel:** I don't believe it.

**Moseby:** I'll say what's to believe around here. But Muriel's got a point. You and London seem pretty tight.

**Maddie:** Tight? Don't make me laugh. After all the ways she's treated me like dirt because I'm poor? Well, now it's payback. Now you gonna let me join or do I have to take my story to the coppers?

**Moseby:** No need to be hasty. You can join. But you get a smaller cut than the rest of us, see?

**Maddie:** Yeah, whatever. I don't care as long as it's outta her hands.

**Moseby:** Alright. Everybody back to your posts. Arwin, take Maddie somewhere where no one'll hear and give her the jist. Got it?

**Arwin:** Got it, boss.

**In the basement**

**Maddie:** So, I hear Moseby and Carey are gettin' hitched after this is all over.

**Arwin:** Yeah. The boss gets all the luck.

**Maddie:** So you still have a thing for Carey?

**Arwin:** How'd you know?

**Maddie:** Sources.

**Arwin:** Yeah. I only joined the gang after she did. Figured I might still get a chance to win her heart. But now it's too late.

**Maddie:** What if there was still a way to get the girl?

**Arwin:** Really? Sounds good, but how do I know I can trust you?

**Maddie:** _(trying to talk like everyone else)_ Listen, me and Cody have a plan to get them all busted. You can help us bring Moseby down. I guarantee Carey won't go followin' him to jail. So with him outta the way, you vouch for her, she don't go to jail, you got yourself the girl.

**Arwin:** Tricky, but it just might work. Alright, I'm in. What do I need to do? Well, here's the plan…

**In the Ballroom**

**Moseby:** Alright, Open Mic night is almost over. I want to thank you for all coming out. We'll have one more song by Maddie Fitzpatrick. _(just loud enough for Maddie to hear)_ Wow 'em enough for the gang to make a break for the jewels.

**Maddie:** Oh, I will.

_(Music begins)_

_Slow-_**Maddie:** I've gotta song for you.

Cuz baby, someone's gotta lose.

You and me are fallin' out.

Now if ya don't know what I'm talkin' about…

_Faster-_ I'm talkin' 'bout your dirty little, lousy weasel, gotta hurt me, lyin' ways.

How I ever fell for you- I'm still amazed.

You stole my heart, but over time

I stole it back and now it's mine,

To keep away…

From your dirty little, lousy weasel, gotta hurt me, lyin' ways.

_(Arwin, Lance, Muriel, and Esteban sneak out of the ballroom. Leaving Carey and Moseby alone at the table. Two men walk in unnoticed and sit down nearby.)_

_(still singing)_

**Maddie:** You stole my heart, but over time

I stole it back and now it's mine,

To keep away…

From your dirty little, lousy weasel, gotta hurt me, lyin' ways.

Baby in my finale, I won't be bowlin' your alley.

Hey, Mr. Copper, I've gotta show-stopper.

_(gesturing)_The answer's just two tables away…

You'll catch them in their dirty, lousy, lyin', theivin'_(spoken)_ways.

_(music ends and the two men surround Carey and Moseby revealing that they are police officers)_

**Cop 1:** The gig is up, you two.

**Moseby:** Oh yeah. You got us, but you ain't got the money or the others.

**Carey:** Yeah and we'll never rat 'em out.

**Cop 2:** You won't have to anyways. Bring them in.

_(More cops bring in Muriel, Esteban, and Lance already in handcuffs)_

**Lance:** Arwin set us up, boss.

**Moseby:** Arwin?

**Arwin:** You'll never deserve Carey.

**Carey:** Yeah you'll never deserve me. He forced me to do it officer.

**Arwin:** I've just decided, don't believe her. She's lying, officer.

**Carey:** Hey.

**Arwin:** Sorry, Carey. You're just not my type.

**Cop 1:** Is this all of 'em?

**Maddie:** No, there's one more.

_(we hear but don't see Zack)_

**Zack:** Cody, why would Moseby want to see us right now?

_(Cody enters the room followed by Zack and London)_

**Cody:** Because "the boss" thought you'd like to take over the "family business"

Here's the last one officer.

**London:** What's going on here? Why are there cops in my father's hotel?

**Cop 2:** The 6 of you are under arrest for attempting to steal the Tipton fortune.

**London:** _(gasps)_ Zack? Were you in on this? To get my money?

**Zack:** Duh. I wasn't in it for you.

**Cop 1:** Take 'em away. _(they lead them out of the hotel)_

**London:** I can't believe Zack used me.

**Cody**: I'm sorry for my brother.

**London:** Did you know about this too?

**Cody:** Yeah, but I couldn't see them hurt you like that. So I helped Maddie set them up.

**London:** That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Maybe I fell in love with the wrong twin.

**Cody:** _(excitedly)_ Really?

**London:** You know, me and Zack never got to finish our moonlight dinner. Do you like lobster?

**Cody:** Yeah, I like lobster. Let's go.

**Maddie:** Oh how sweet. Cody got London after all. It's a happy ending, but why did you let Carey get busted Arwin?

**Arwin:** I figured I could either wait for her to get out or I could just wait for you.

**Maddie:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! _(wakes up still screaming.)_

**Carey:** Maddie, you're awake. Thank goodness.

**Maddie:** _(She's lying on one of the lobby sofas. sitting up she sees everyone gathered around.) _What happened?

**Moseby:** You passed out when you came through the door. It's fortunate that Esteban was able to catch you.

**Zack:** You've been asleep for hours.

**Maddie:** Then it was all a dream? But it was so real. You were all there. Moseby, you and Carey were going to steal London's money and lead a chain gang and elope somewhere.

_(Moseby and Carey look at each other awkwardly)_ And London you were in love with Zack who was really just using you to help steal the money.

**London:** Well, how rude. You all should be fired.

**Maddie:** But Cody was the one really in love with London and then there was…you _(points to Arwin and faints. They all look at Arwin)_

**Arwin:** I guess I've just got one of those faces.

**The End**


End file.
